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Who Am I Now? Learning to Integrate the Impact of Unexpected Change

Updated: Mar 24, 2023

When life delivers big, unexpected changes to the conditions of our lives, we change. We are not the person we were before, even if we try to be. We can make sure there is as much that stays the same as possible, but inside, our internal landscape is different. And the impact of change can’t be ignored or minimized, it must be integrated.

Think about how the pandemic changed us; the changes we experienced in our jobs, our families, our relationships, our friendships, our finances, and more. I don’t know of anyone who wasn’t touched by this major event. I do know, however, many who are still struggling with the unexpected changes that resulted.

If you, or someone you love, is fighting to adjust to unexpected changes, I can say with certainty that patience is a virtue you truly want to offer. Patience with self is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. Patience with others, can help them build a bridge from where they are, to where they want to be.

When we decide not to ignore change, dismiss it, minimize it, or fight it, we have to ask ourselves “who am I now?” Who am I when my loved one is no longer here in his/her body? Who am I when I no longer have the same job? Who am I when a core relationship ends? Who am I now?

This question leads us to realizing that unexpected change isn’t something that we have to “get over” or “get through” it is something that we need to integrate into the landscape of our being. Our identities are impacted and what results is based on the choices we make.

Unexpected change can leave us feeling injured or challenged. As a result, we can grow or we can stagnate. We can become bitter or much more aware of the richness of our lives. We can’t change conditions that already happened, but we can decide how we will perceive them and as a result, integrate them into our lives.

What unexpected changes have you experienced? How have you integrated the change into your life? Who are you now?



Sharing with you… I’ve been a hospice volunteer for 13 years and a Certified Trauma and Loss Consultant for 24 years. I take ongoing classes that keep my skills strong and allow me to provide meaningful support to those integrating painful life events. In my work as a psychic/medium, I actively use the skills and knowledge I’ve gained in these experiences. I’ve watched many of my clients integrate unexpected change into their being with grace and fortitude. If you are struggling, know that I believe in your possibilities and you can, too.


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