Life After Loss: The Part We Don't Really Talk About

When we talk about grief, we talk a lot about endings. Whether the loss is of a person, a pet, a job, a relationship, a friendship… the end of something we’ve become attached to, is loud. We rarely talk about beginnings. Often when we speak of beginnings we associate them with positive experiences, but often for those facing loss, the “beginning” of something new is the part that is most disorienting and the least talked about.

While remembering the “last time” is painful, so are the “first time” experiences. And even though everyone grieves differently, all loss has both components. Whenever something ends, something begins, even when it’s the last thing in the world we want.

As a result, many people resist the “firsts” – they don’t want to start a new day, celebrate a holiday, travel to a new location. It can feel disloyal to move forward with life, to date, to get another pet, to be excited about a new job, even to laugh and smile again. Yet when I do readings, that is the message I so consistently hear; that it is okay to embrace the beginnings, and self-compassion and patience are so important.

Often when I’m doing a reading, my client wants reassurance, they want a sign. While no one really talks about it, there is often a part of us that needs permission to march forward with life, to embrace the beginnings. Sometimes I receive a lot of information, sometimes a little, and sometimes not much. This isn’t something that I have control over. My job is to show up, really listen, and practice consistent authenticity.

No matter what happens during the reading, my heart is fully present to how life after loss impacts the people I’m privileged to help. I see the “beginnings” as much as I see the “endings” and I know how hard they are. I also hold on to the possibilities that I know exist; as I intimately understand that we are all energetic beings. We don’t disappear, we transition. Life is a series of constant transitions and whenever I have the chance to help others make a transition (no matter what it is), I know that I’m following my life purpose and helping others follow theirs, too.

If you are struggling with “beginnings” - I encourage you to practice self-compassion and patience. Be gentle with yourself. Know that you are not alone. It takes real effort to face not just “endings” but “beginnings” too.