Like so many of my clients, 2023 has been a big growth year for me. I’ve come to realize that change requires courage first, good decisions second, and firm action next. That first step isn’t easy. We all like the familiar even when it doesn’t serve us well.
One of my biggest change goals has been to be able to advocate for myself more easily. As a gentle person, I have often found this challenging. Here are a few things that I have done this year that have made this easier.
1.Put in Good Boundaries
2.Become More Decisive
3.Prioritized My Personal Needs
4.Explored How to Feel Safe in Self
Everyone knows that good boundaries are important. Not everyone knows what they are, how to set them, how to communicate them, and how to enforce them. To be a good advocate for myself, I’ve needed to give this serious consideration. Rather than discovering my boundaries based on other people’s actions, I am more proactively thinking about what my boundaries are and why, and how to make them part of my life.
Funny thing is… you must be decisive to even be able to set good boundaries!
Rather than letting someone or something else decide what is right for you, you need personal clarity. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and have come to realize that I am actually very clear about many things, therefore being decisive isn’t nearly as challenging as it was. I have been successful this year in being clear and implementing good boundaries (even when it wasn’t comfortable!).
Feeling safe (in self) and being able to prioritize self, go hand in hand. Putting yourself first can be hard, especially if you are a caregiver or have a caregiver’s personality. Meeting the needs of others can provide relief, joy, a sense of accomplishment, and pride! It can also create anger, resentment, stress, and more. It’s a mixed bag! It’s hard to feel safe when you’re wrapped up in emotions and overwhelmed. As such, I’ve been much more conscious of how my actions impact my personal sense of safety and have made adjustments that are beneficial to my wellness.
So these are my four things… I do hope that sharing some of my discoveries with you stimulates or encourages yours.